When Sophia is good she is really, really good. But, when she is bad she is really, really bad. We have been experimenting with ways to help her control her anger...time outs in her room, having her run laps around the house, count her breaths...and nothing has really worked because when she is angry she doesn't want to comply with anything we say.
After having a daily yoga practice for the last several weeks I found myself inwardly responding differently to her angry outburst today. She was upset because I insisted that she clean up her playroom. It was a huge mess. I found myself able to neutrally observe the situation. That gave me space to respond more creatively. I realized that she was overwhelmed so I broke down the tasks, beginning with having her put her dress-up clothes in a basket.
She was still upset and not cooperating. I observed my breath becoming shallow and fast. I knew I was losing patience. I took her by the hand and led her to the nicest rug in the house to try some breathing. We sat cross-legged with our eyes closed. We took a few deep breaths. Then we put our right hands on our hearts and left hands on the belly. We did lion's breath which involves breathing deeply through the nose and exhaling loudly with tongues reaching out as far as possible. We felt our hearts rate slowing. We said, "I am peaceful, I am calm, I am happy."
I'm sorry to say that this exercise did not result in her cleaning her playroom. She had to visit timeout with daddy before she was willing to cooperate. But, she did eventually cooperate and she didn't resort to a physical outburst of hitting, kicking, and pushing. It did result in me becoming calm and we were able to recover a good mood in the house so the remainder of the day was not ruined.
I think there is potential here. I would like to do a short yoga/breathing practice with her daily so she can develop self-control and self-awareness. Perhaps then she will have some tools she can use when she gets angry. I found this article about coping with anger which gives me hope.
